I Wrote This Entire Entry Just For Point #5

Lessons from the past week:

1. Surfing at Lawrencetown Beach is just the right mix of spectacular and terrifying. I was never able to stand up on my board, but still got to ride waves into shore. Being bashed around by the water and my surfboard (I sustained two minor injuries) was a humbling experience. And now I have a t-shirt.

2. Wii Sports might be all the workout I'd ever need. I do wonder, though, if my assigned "Fitness Age" of 47 had anything to do with how disproportionately good I was at the bowling test. Too bad it didn't ask me to box - I rock the boxing.

3. I am an incorrigible pack-rat. This lesson learned, not for the first time, as I spent Saturday night re-organizing my closet, and found a newspaper from 1997.

4. Shopping for a new laptop is a total pain in the ass. Since just about every new computer on the market meets my basic needs, it's all about indulging my wants - and I am indecisive. I guess I should just hope that whatever I pick doesn't crash all the time, because in any other respect it can't be worse than what I already have.

5. There is no better dancing than inmates dancing. To Thriller.


On The Social Contract

...The one that apparently nobody in Halifax knows about, or they would not do these things. Thus, a lesson:

1. Dynamic flow. Thou shalt not attempt to enter the elevator (bus, door, other) at the same time that other people are attempting to leave the same. This is awkward for everyone, and you are wrong. Let people out before you try to get in. Furthermore, when an entrance is possessed of two or more doors, it is not only acceptable but encouraged to open all of them. We do not need to shuffle single-file through one door.

2. Escalators. Stand on the right. Walk on the left. Always. Thou shalt not ever stand two or more abreast on an escalator, stemming the traffic of those less lazy than yourself. This is especially true on down escalators. No wonder we have a fat culture.

3. Proper bus etiquette. Thou shalt not ever sit next to a stranger when there are free seats available. If a lack of seats necessitates sitting next to a stranger, thou shalt move thine ass as soon as space becomes available. This rule applies doubly to the victims of the aforementioned fat culture, whose posteriors take up not only their own seats but also half of the person seated next to them. Triple for those who smell like pee.

4. Respect my bubble. The iPod indicates, amongst other things, that I have no desire to engage in idle conversation with people I will likely never remember or see again. You may ask questions related to the time, the bus schedule, directions. Please do not interrupt me to discuss the weather, your children, etc. I am a jerk and I do not care. Thou shalt mind thine own damned business.

5. Thou shalt never stop dead on the street for no reason! It's already hard enough for me to not punch your slow ass in the back of the head, suddenly screeching to a halt is like a licence to kill. Watch it.

Add your own!


Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

  • six days of vacation. 2 of those days were a weekend. the other 4 were paid. awesome.
  • spent obscene amounts, rented toyota yaris, drove to New Brunswick and back; over 1350 km/ 850 mi total
  • pet my dog
  • jumped off the boat into the lake
  • took pictures of fish with an underwater camera
  • ate lots of grandmother-made baked goods
  • saw nearly every single person in my family
  • blew bubbles
  • got a slight sunburn but mostly a great tan
  • talked about muggles with my grandfather
  • annoyed everyone with my polaroid
  • rode a ride called the "freak out"
  • successfully stood up on a raft
  • slept in as late as possible every day
  • rode on the back of a four-wheeler (ATV)
  • played cribbage
  • didn't touch either of the books I packed
  • was a snack food for mosquitoes
  • drove past (almost) all the houses I've lived in
  • slept in a different bed every night except for one
  • laid on the dock over the lake at night and saw a shooting star and the milky way
  • gave a speech that made people cry and congratulate me
  • watched my sister get married // cried
Pictures are on Facebook and on Flickr, but here are a couple anyway. ZipperSunny Skies Draped Summer Sun