Hell's Kitchen

Or, K went searching Amazon for kitchen ware and here relays the intriguingly horrible things she found there.

Butter Boy Corn Cob Butterer

Because using a knife or dare I say rolling your corn in a pat of butter are options too pedestrian for you, kitschy cuisinerd!

Slush Ease Home Slushee Machine

This device is owned by 20 year old frat boys living together in large groups in small houses. They are really, really stoned.

Pro Pots Football-Shaped Slow Cooker

For the discerning sports fan, who, one can assume, is permanently single.

Hello Kitty Toaster

With Hello Kitty image-searing capabilities. Fucking Japan.

Hot Dog Toaster

Now making hot dogs is as easy as making toast. Because making hot dogs was previously a time-consuming and labour-intensive activity. Good grief.